Though keeping a diamond on her ring finger is clearly beyond her, one thing Jennifer Lopez does know is her jewellery  you don’t time your meteoric rise from Block to Bev Hills on a fake Roley. As Jenny’s been demonstrating for years, when it comes to ice: the more you got, the more you hot gurl. This season the world caught up. Thanks J.Lo babes, I’ve been routing for you since that infamous 2000 Grammy’s Versace dress scarf – Yes the dress has its, or rather her, OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE). Time to pile on dem jewels.

Though in the world of hip hop tastes don’t stretch far beyond the realms of Cartier and Jacob & Co, my preference (and budget) and that of the millions of faux hippy-chicks on Tumblr, is for quirky silver jewelry. As much of it as possible; unless I’m dancing with my knuckles weighing me down like Edward Scissorhands (surely his hands were heavy, they were giant mental scissors..?) I’m not satisfied. I pile on so many rings – on the top and bottom of my fingers, I’m that kooky – If you pushed me off a pier I’d sink hands first, drowning BUT looking like those cool kids at the pool doing handstands  I was always jealous of – HA Mum I don’t have armbands now.

ASSORTED RINGS AND JEWELLERY – TIFFANY & CO, EBAY, GIFTS, ASIA

Silver and turquoise jewelry’s my fave; it looks banging with a golden Thailand (or orange St. Tropez) tan. Post-graduation partying and shopping my way across Asia served my jewelry box better than eight divorces pimped Zsa Zsa Gabor’s. An ex once told me sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with Cleopatra, as it took me a good twenty minutes to de-jewel my hands before bed. Day or night, I’d happily keep them on, but as every Sex Ed class on STIs taught us, scratchy ain’t sexy. If you want to keep your boy perhaps don’t go to bed looking like Mr T; no one wants to hit that.’

ASSORTED JEWELLERY – LINKS OF LONDON, TIFFANY & CO, BUTLER & WILSON, BIBA, TOPSHOP, FOREVER 21, EBAY, ANTIQUE SALES AND MARKETS, OP SHOPS, GIFTS